Kind of along the same lines of how there are some questions you should never ask a pregnant woman, there are also questions I think should be banned from asking new parents. The one that's bugging me the most right now would be, "Is he sleeping through the night yet?"
While I believe my son is not as bad as some, the answer to that is a big fat no. The four month sleep regression hit us hard this month, but even before that he was still getting up once or twice to feed at night. I think we're working back to that point, because it had been up to four times for awhile here and thankfully that hasn't been the norm now the last week or so. While many babies at his age are capable of sleeping through the night and are physically able to go that long without a feed, other babies actually still wake up at night up to six months, nine months, even up to a year. And I've accepted that my child must be one of the ones who just need the extra mommy love at night right now - but it is so frustrating getting that same "is he sleeping" question over and over again. Especially first thing in the morning when you haven't even had your coffee yet. Thank you ever so much for reminding me that no, I'm not getting a full night's sleep right now!
So then I find myself turning to the dreaded mommy boards and parent advice boards and all the other resources on the Internet and start feeling like I'm doing everything wrong. And even my own pediatrician - yes the one who also happens to be my uncle - is telling us we need to try and discourage the night feeding or he'll get too dependent on it. Between that and the information overload, I started feeling super stressed out.
Then I had a good talk with the Pants Monkey and he reminded me that humans have walked this Earth for many years and most all of them figured out how to sleep eventually. My child will not go to college still needing to nurse on me to get to sleep. If he stays up all night at that point it'll be because of studying - or let's face it, maybe even partying - but not because he physically cannot sleep without his mommy's milk!
I also read some blog posts about parents dealing with the same sleep issues - and I realized that the babies who sleep all night right now at his age really aren't the norm. I'm happy for those who have wonderful sleepers, but my little guy is pretty average and that gives me comfort. It's ok for us to just go one day at a time and keep on what works for us. We have a good established bedtime routine, so I feel the other things will fall into place when they're meant to. And I know that once he does start sleeping better - I will likely look back on this time and miss those midnight cuddles.
So really, to those who keep asking me if he's sleeping through the night, I can feel pretty confident in saying "he's not right now, but I'm soaking up the mommy/baby time while I have it" instead of getting frustrated by the question. I'm not doing anything wrong - I'm doing what works and by doing that it means I'm doing everything right.
